Extended Abstract
Introduction: War is one of the most unpleasant and unfortunate losses. In any society, as long as the war is going on, everything is normal. But with the end of the war, the fate of the war warriors and its soldiers will change in different ways. After the war, some will return home safely, some will lose their lives, and many will suffer psychological injuries. Many will also suffer mental and physical injuries or will be injured or "disabled" for their whole life. This has been the case in the Iran-Iraq war; the victims of the war are the human examples of the Iran-Iraq war. Veterans are among those who face many problems, including starting a family and having children. Part of their problems is in the context of their personal life and within their family. According to Helmut Schelsky, the family should be a safe and reliable place for its members Bernardz (2005). This issue is more important for disabled and vulnerable groups, including spinal cord amputee Veterans. Regarding veterans and disable people and people with other disabilities, the issue of "family therapy" has been emphasized nowadays. Veterans, regardless of their psychological issues caused by post-traumatic stress, are married in a situation where they are physically (disabled) in a state of general disability and have been unable to perform many of their personal tasks. One of the main challenges that veterans face after marriage is the issue of having children. The most important question that the researcher tries to answer in his research is: what is the situation of the veterans' families and what problems veterans (70%) face in the process of childbearing?
Method: The method of the present study is qualitative - phenomenological method and in terms of nature, responds to the question of how veterans have children in the Condition of disability? It seems that the conditions of family life and its continuation are disturbed and they encountered some problems. How are the formation of life and the process of childbearing in them? The statistical Society of the study was male spinal cord amputee veterans (70%) who (after veterans) were married between 1981 and 1996. Spatial territory: Two groups of lumbar spinal cord and neck spinal cord amputee veterans have been in three provinces of Tehran, Isfahan and Qom province. When the number of interviewees reached 20 and their answers were very close to each other, we reached theoretical saturation, with the repetition and uniformity of the narratives. Data collection has been done with the help of interview techniques from lumbar spinal cord amputees and neck Spinal cord amputee veterans.
Findings: First) causal conditions:. 1. Individual issues, 2. Social issues, 3. And finally family issues. These issues in the form of Interconnected collection have affected their "family life".
Second) Involved conditions: 1- Widespread wave of marriages of other veterans 2. Various facilities of the foundation to married people 3. Family pressure for marriage can be mentioned as an important part of the intervening factors in this field
Third) Underlying conditions: 1. Feeling lonely 2.Returning to normal life 3. Applicants Welcoming to marry veterans 4. Inability to support parents, which is one of the most important underlying factors in veterans' marriages
Fourth) Consequences: 1. Empty house (houses without children). 2. Sexual dissatisfaction of the couples 3 Childbearing through medical interventions and having single child 4. Heavy burden and role pressure of veterans’ spouses 5. Adoption
Discussion: The fundamental question is how such families, despite the hardships they have faced, continue to endure for more than three decades? The most important strategy, the conflict resolution strategy: in family lived experience, Veterans have had limitations and obstacles in the field of Sexual issues, childbearing, adoption, family management, and other pressures of life and have expressed their dissatisfaction in various ways of such life. The studied subjects have adopted various strategies in overcoming obstacles in order to maintain family life, Which can be divided into the following four categories: 1) Belief: we can see the dimensions of "justification" and also "destiny" as important factors in maintaining their lives. Veterans in their own words expressed their resistance to life's problems as follows: Divine test: this has been our destiny and the destiny of God. 2) Psychological and emotional: Many veterans, willingly or unwillingly, have used emotional and psychological force in their family life for the sake of their health and continuity of their life. Various ways such as: buying gifts and using words in the form of "verbal love" and loving sentences and finally appreciating the efforts of their spouses. 3) Economic: The economic capital of spinal cord amputees is a solution to compensate the deficiencies caused by their disability; they can use such opportunities in the form of financial and economic benefits with their relatively appropriate salaries and benefits. In this way, they do not lag behind the healthy people who have capital and spend for their lives and spouses. Buying home furniture, buying cars, giving a portion of movable and immovable property to their wife, etc. has led to a kind of "joint ownership"4- Legal: In Iranian society and in its legislative system, there is a high priority for men. In the families of veterans, it seems that in terms of the ideology of society and the theoretical view, the status of women is considered high and she has been given a special reward and closeness, while this is not the case in reality. This dichotomy can also be seen in the laws related to veterans and their family disputes. With the establishment of veterans' affairs offices and the judicial facilities provided to veterans (men), the veteran's priority over his spouse has been largely taken into account and veterans have gained more support. Conclusion: Veterans, as a marginalized group in a turbulent society, are not willing to lose their families because it is a safe haven for them. Theoretically, this adjustment and balancing of the family institution by veterans can be considered as a pseudo-theory of Parsons' theoretical model in the subject of his four subsystems. The difference is that, contrary to Parsons' theory, the interaction between these four sub-mechanisms is not linear, and veterans have used a various types suitable to their circumstances in order to achieve the "self-regulating family" and avoid family breakdown.
Ethical considerations: In this study, we tried to record the answers of the interviewees with the permission of them. Many interviews were conducted in the veterans' shelter, in their homes, and in some cases at their workplaces, and the interviewees could choose the place of interview. The interviews were conducted entirely by the researcher who was an spinal amputee, which has not been ineffective in gaining trust and credibility in research and creating a natural environment away from mistrust. Respondent veterans constantly used these words in their interviews. For example: don’t say my words to the others, you are like us, you are a veteran, these words can not be said to anyone, these words tha t I say I have never said to anyone and ... . These words express the sense of trust that they had toward the researcher. The publication of research results has been done without bias and citing sources has been done with honesty and trustworthiness and referring to the main sources.